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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?